I read a great article over the weekend titled “The Most Important Question of your Life” by Mark Manson. He talks about how to achieve happiness but in reverse. “What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?”
In short, what do you care enough about to hurt for?
Each choice we make, especially when starting something new or changing a bad habit, requires a struggle. A beginner in anything will struggle to learn and, if they are so motived, then master the new task. Someone who seeks to break an addiction will struggle to change patterns in their life. Neither are easy, and nor should they be. The harder the challenge, the more satisfaction you have in the outcome and the happier you will be to have positively enhanced or changed your life.
When I was a young adult, I started my career with a salary that was barely above minimum wage. But I had a passion for horses, which are expensive to purchase and keep. I was determined to live my dream, though, and after about a year at my new job I decided to buy a horse. My first stop was to the Middleburg Bank, where I sat down with a banker who went over my finances and budget and decided I was capable of a $5,000 loan for a horse.
With that budget in mind, I went off to search for my dream horse. I learned a lot through the process, not only of turning a fantasy into reality but also how to sacrifice today for what I wanted tomorrow. Everything I did in those days was on the economy plan, from keeping my horse at a self-care barn where I did all of the work, to giving up expensive dinners out, designer clothes, having multiple roommates and really giving up most anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.
The struggle was real—riding in the 6 p.m. darkness in an open field with a headlamp or under the light of the moon in frigid January or arriving at the barn at 6 a.m. before work in hot, humid August to ride—but the results were what I was willing to struggle for. I lived for those rides, for the improvement in me and my horse and our growing partnership. I fantasized of the ribbons and victory gallops we’d achieve, and each day I cleaned his stall or groomed him, I knew I was one step closer. And, now, the memories of that horse and the years we spent together are cherished many decades later along with the knowledge that I am able and willing to hurt for something I truly want to achieve.
As Manson says, “our struggles determine our successes…so choose your struggles wisely.”
It’s a new year with new challenges, and I will remember that each day there will be another challenge to overcome on the way to a greater reward and happiness.