My mother turned 91, and we celebrated her birthday today with friends and family to mark the occasion. She didn’t want a big party or celebration, so we kept it small and relaxed. “I can’t believe I’m 91,” she kept saying as the day unfolded. “I don’t want to think about it.”
In fact, I probably think more about her age than she does. She’s defied the odds to live to this age after smoking more than half of her lifetime, drinking her fair share (well, honestly, more) with my father and their lively group of lifelong friends, and mostly following an upside-down food pyramid.
These days, her favorite foods vary and can change on a whim, but she basically survives on coffee and sugar. As her primary caretaker, one of my roles is to make healthy meals in the evenings and keep the pantry and fridge stocked with foods she will eat during the day, and that’s a continuing challenge.
For example, at the moment she’s devouring Publix Volcano Roll dip, ham and cheese sandwiches (no crusts, please), popcorn and bananas. Last month, it was cherry yogurt, apples, candied pecans and Wickles pickles. So, consequently, there are now a half-dozen yogurts languishing in the fridge waiting for someone else to eat them, two jars of pickles in the pantry on hold, and I took the old apples to the barn this week to feed the horses.
But, if that’s the biggest challenge I face caring for a mother with Alzheimer’s, I’m one lucky daughter. I’m fortunate to have a strong circle of supporters on this journey, including my husband and son. They allow me to live a semblance of a normal life and continue to travel for work when needed and take the occasional girls’ night out.
I’m coming up on five years of holding down the fort, and while I never thought I’d be living here full-time and taking care of my mother, it’s been rewarding and enjoyable. I’ve made new friends and clients and enjoy living in a wonderful neighborhood. Of course, I miss Virginia and my friends there, but seeing them at shows and keeping in touch on the phone and social media has kept us connected.
This experience has also helped me to realize how important family is in our lives, and caring for someone who cared for you is a blessing. It may not always be easy (OK, it’s pretty damn hard sometimes) or how you thought your life would unfold, but it’s a choice I’m happy I made. Happy Birthday mom, and may there be many more!